I’m back

Things have been a little quite around here, haven’t they? Thanks for your patience and your encouraging and concerned comments and emails over the past few weeks. Let me explain what happened. 3 years ago in early December I gave birth to our stillborn son. It took me a long time to get over the loss, and unfortunately I still tend to slip into a deep depression around this time of the year. Add to that the fact that everyone in my house got a nasty cold and I didn’t get anything done, let alone post to the website.

Thankfully we are starting to feel better on the cold front and I was able to dig myself out of the depression and you can expect some more frequent posts. Today I’m working on adding all those yummy cookie recipes you have sent my way. By the way, feel free to email me your favorite holiday cookie recipe and I’ll add it to the mix.

Thanks again for your patience and I hope you have a wonderful holiday season.


163 Responses to “I’m back”

  1. Julie Says:

    {{Hugs}} and welcome back.

    I’m so sorry to hear of your loss. Be good to yourself.

    Your blog gives me so much pleasure. Thanks!

  2. lambofHisflock Says:

    It is great to have you back! I am looking forward to the cookie recipes; your work here is a blessing to me. I will be keeping you and your family in my prayers now and through the Christmas season. May God bless you and keep you.

  3. Moabite Maiden Says:

    If anybody probably needed a few weeks off, it was you. You are entitled. (Just ignore any rude previous comments to the contrary!). Have a Merry Christmas and thanks for all you do.

  4. Mary from Mississippi Says:

    {{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}} Loss is difficult, especially this time of year. I lost my mama in December of ’97 and since she loved Christmas so much, it’s a double whammy when this time of year rolls around and I tend to get into a funk myself. It sneaks up on you before you realize it. The weather here has also been crazy … warm, then cold, then warm again, then cold again, so about the time I start getting over one cold another one creeps in on me. That never helps when you’re also dealing with emotional stuff.

    I cannot imagine the loss of a child. My heart goes out to you. Take care of yourself – glad to see you back! You have been missed.

  5. Mama K Says:

    I don’t think that’s the kind of loss any mother can truely “get over” no matter how long has passed.
    Take care of yourself.

  6. Kimberly Says:

    Good to see you here.

    I am so sorry for your loss. Thinking of you.

  7. Cheryl Says:

    I am so sorry to hear about your loss. I don’t think you will ever “get over it”, but I pray God will continue to sustain you. I’ve gotten a lot of good ideas from you and thank you for sharing.

  8. Rane Says:

    I too have lost twins before, it is not easy and I feel the loss of them every year near
    Thanks giving. It is hard to be thankful until I see all I have. Every year I feel a heavy
    heart. I will not tell you it gets easier, but I will not say that it gets harder either.
    I am happy that you have come back to us! I hope that you have loads of suport in the
    real world and I can see including me you have loads here. Take care and love the ones
    you hold dear and yourself! Every year I write what I am thinking and donate a quilt to
    the local hospital to a family that cant aford much for their baby. So their baby is warm.
    I hope at least their baby is warm and safe and being held tight by “my hands.”
    It gives me a way of puting my energy into something productive. After doing this I handle
    my feelings much better. We all find ways of dealing with our pain.
    Love to all, hug those you love.

  9. Claudine Says:

    I’m so sorry to hear about your loss. I lost my baby girl just over four years ago, and I always get very sentimental and miss her the most around this time year. Hang in there and know that God is mindful of your needs and loves you very much. You provide such a wonderful service through your website! Thank you so much!

  10. Brenda@CoffeeTeaBooks&Me Says:

    It is good to have you back. ((Hug))

    Although I love autumn, I always get a little sad in late October for that is when my first child was born and passed away within half an hour. He was a preemie.

    God blessed me with two other wonderful children after that but I think it is good to always remember him in late autumn. :)

  11. Tammy Says:

    I’m glad you’re back. I’m sorry for your loss. I’ll be thinking about you!

  12. Val Says:

    Not much else to add, everyone has already said it…but…(((((((HUGS))))))) to you from me and my family and from God who holds every tear shed in His hand and understands loss with compassion and empathy.

  13. melinda Says:

    hugs to your heart.

  14. Grey Says:

    Glad to see you back! *hugs* You are such an inspiration.

  15. Charlotte Says:

    So glad you’re back. I am sorry for your loss. I cannot understand the pain of losing a child, but I do understand the pain of depression. Praying that God will heap an extra measure of His grace upon you.

    Sending big hugs your way!

  16. Sandi Says:

    My “sad” time is every October; I lost a baby girl. *hugs*

    Looking forward to future newsletters and blogs. Happy Holidays!

  17. Stephanie Says:

    I am sorry for your loss. My little boy was born sleeping Sept 1st this year, somedays it is all I can do to get out of bed. I am not sure if the pain and guilt will ever get better. I will keep you in my thoughts.

  18. Nancy Says:

    I’m sorry you were feeling so sad. I’m glad everyone is doing better! ((HUGS))

  19. Bonnie Says:

    my heart to you and your family…..and the others who have shared their losses…

    thank you for all you do and give to all of us out here….

    <3 Bonnie

  20. Marge Says:

    I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I have not personally experienced this, but know you will
    not “get over” it. You know that sometimes little ones need to be near God so take comfort in the fact that your little one was “born at rest”. I hope your faith and family cheer your hear this Christmas season. And, yes miss you. I look forward to seeing your site soon again. M

  21. Cindy Says:

    Hi Suzanne,
    Like you, I experienced the loss of my first born son, in the spring some 22 years ago. It has been a long time, but, I still miss Jonathan, very much. My other kids have grown quite a bit, Nicholas, is now almost 21, David at 18 and Sarah at 13. I don’t think you ever really get over a loss like that, but, time has a way of healing. I also live quite a distance from my kids, and around this time of year I especially miss them, so I can understand what you are going through. Prayers for you, I love the website, keep up the good work!
    God bless,
    Cindy (in CA)

  22. Dolly Acosta Says:

    I understand _ I had a stillborn baby girl , it will be two year on Jan.26,2009. i was thinking about her just a few days ago. Christmas is hard because I remember the Christmas before she was born thinking that it would be our last as a family of 4. I get feelings of wishing she had stayed inside were she was still with me.

    words are not enough but they help.

    God bless,

  23. Texas Bob Says:

    So very sorry for your loss. Get through this sad time and the holidays and have a wonderful year in 2009!

  24. Valerie Neal Says:

    So sorry for your loss, glad you are back, you are a blessing to so many. I met a new friend the other day, and we both realized we visit your site regularly.

  25. Meg Says:

    This is a tough time of year, especially when you have had a major loss in your life. From the posts you can see you belong to a club of strong women that were given angels, I being a member as well.

    The doctor we had, bless his heart, explained it to me this way:
    ‘You will never get over this nor should anyone ever expect you to. Instead as time passes you will learn to live with it.’

    Never truer words spoken.

  26. Wendy Says:

    Yay Susan!! Im glad your better.. Stay strong.. your in my prayers!!!

  27. Robyn Says:

    God Bless you and give you strength in your time of need….

  28. Melinda Villano Says:

    It takes my breath away when I hear/read about another women/family having had to live through this experience and I understand so deeply the cloud that covers us during the familar time. You can’t help it along, or avoid it you just have to go through it and be there in the dark for awhile. Sometimes it is so lonely to have this experience no one but another women who has had a stillborn can understand the depth. I am that women as well having had my precious son 7lb 13oz be born still 5 years ago on March 2. Please know my arms are wrapped around you and I hold you close during this time.

  29. Sandy Donovan Says:

    Dear Susanne, I gave birth to a stillborn daughter forty-eight years ago, and still mourn her loss after carrying her for eight months. I still think of what she would have been like to this day and wish she were here. Bless your heart and know that it does get better over the years. It is sharp and bitter pain the first few years, but the edges do smooth down and the pain lessens.

  30. Maryann Says:

    It’s so good to have you back! I too am very sorry for your loss. The pain never goes away, but I take comfort in the knowledge that we will all be reunited with our loved ones some day.
    My prayers and best wishes go out to you and yours.

  31. Charlie Says:

    Peace and Blessings, Susanne.
    We are always as close as email…

    Charlie & Family!!

  32. Joy Says:

    I am so sorry for your loss! I will pray that God continue your healing over the loss of your child.

  33. nicole Says:

    my condolences on your loss….iam actually working on a reborn(hand painted doll painted to resemble a baby) for a friend for xmas of her twin son that passed away shortly after he was born..holidays are hard for people that have experienced loss…if i can help you with a memory gift of your darling please feel free to contact me….iam an artist and my good karma is to help people with gifts like this…take care merry xmas……nicole

  34. Sara From Buckeye, AZ Says:

    I’m sorry for your loss. I think that any loss is hard during these “family holidays”. Being a mother of two, I couldn’t think of what I would do. It takes a strong parent to go through that. Your in my prayers and thoughts. Stay strong and don’t loose sight of the reunion you’ll have one day.

    Sending lots of hugs your way from a small townl.

  35. Linda Says:

    We never know what others are going through and this is why we all ned to grow stronger patience for others. Your strength is even larger than you know and believe it or not, you help a lot of us. I hope you and yours have a blessed Christmas season.


  36. Cammy Says:

    I am so very sorry to hear of your loss. Your grief during the anniversary of your loss is a normal thing. It is good to be easy on yourself during that time. Try surrounding yourself with people and things that you love. Count your blessings out loud and thank God for them out loud. This does not mean you should not grieve or that you should feel guilty about grieving. Hopefully, it may just make it a little easier. I am thinking of you and will be praying for you. :)

  37. april Says:

    so sorry for your loss
    i enjoy your hard work and the passion behind it
    merry christmas

  38. Sher's Creative Expressions Says:

    My heartfelt sympathy and love to you. I am so sorry!



  39. Sue In NC Says:

    I know myself just how you feel. I will be in prayer for you.

  40. Gem Says:

    Glad you are back, hurting with/for you. God bless and comfort you through this season.

  41. Jan Connair Says:

    I did miss you, and I’m so sorry to hear of the reason for your absence. Glad you are feeling a bit better now.


  42. Tiko Says:

    Hello! Glad to hear all are coming around. Sorry for your loss. Faith and time heals.

    1st, I want to say, thank you for your blogs, recipes and tips. I look forward to reading everything. 2nd, I tried you crockpot bean soup recipe and it was g-r-e-a-t. I loved it soooo much I bought another pound of beans to make more and told my mother how to make and she loved it.

    Thank you
    Thank you
    Thank you

  43. Elizabeth Says:

    I’m so sorry for your loss..My Mama passed away Dec. 13 of last year, so this has been hard for me as well.. Praying for you!

  44. Lynn Says:

    Well as you can see we are all happy to have you back..and we all enjoy your site very much..but your heath and well being (along with your families) is the biggest concern for all of us.. We are just very happy and thankful that you have welcomed us all in to be part of your family and like family we are all here to share in the good times and the bad.. Unless you have been part of an online group like this you never realize how much you can love and care for people you have never met..Some of the people I cherish most in my life have been friends I have met online..Here is wishing you and yours a very blessed and Merry Christmas and a great New Year..

  45. Mia Says:

    Susanne, my heart goes out to you.
    I’m so sorry for your loss.
    My eyes always well up with tears when I hear of mothers having lost their precious ones.
    The Lord wrap His arms around you and hold you tight and comfort you.

  46. Diane Says:

    May the Christmas spirit bring you peace with the memories of your son.

    Thank you for your work on the site…I always look forward to reading new additions.

  47. Misty Says:

    I lost a daughter to stillbirth in January of 2002. I understand. I even sympathize.

    On her birthday I light a candle. It doesn’t help, but I do it anyway.

    Hope you feel a little better soon.

  48. Petra Says:

    I am so sorry for your loss. Thinking of you and sending prayers your way. Thank you for this great site!

  49. Cindy Says:

    I gave birth to my stillborn daughter three days before Christmas – 20 years ago this Christmas. Three wonderful healthy children later, I still have a difficult time at this time of year dealing with the memories. My thoughts & prayers are with you.

  50. Jodi Says:

    I’m so happy that you and yours are feeling better you are all in my thoughts and prayers.

  51. maddy Says:

    I am very sorry for your loss. Thank you so much for the work that you do to help others. I have gotten so many ideas and recipes from your blog and have learned so much. Thank you!

  52. Deirdre Says:

    What a sadness you must be going through. I lost my mother when I was quite young, and as previously said, you probably will never get over it. We all support you and want you to know we appreciate all your hard work. Much Love and all the best in the coming year.

  53. Dani Says:

    Oh, Susanne..so deeply sorry to hear this….I so understand..been there….its tough…
    be good to yourself…..God bless and comfort your heart…..

  54. Erica Says:

    I am so sorry to hear about your grief. I can empathize but not toally understand. My husband and I lost 6 babies to miscarrige–one of them at the holidays–and loss really tough. I cannot imagine what it is like to carry as far as you did and lose a child. I do not think that there is any greater grief than of a parent who loses a little one. I am a licensed counselor and see couples facing infertility, prenatal depression, pregnancy loss and post partum depression. I think it is normal–and healthy within reason–to take time for yourself and cacoon yourself for a bit to heal. Hugs to you and yours and a very Blessed Christmas!

  55. Pam Says:

    I am so sorry about your loss. How awful. I can understand the depression. Just take care of yourself and feel better.
    Have a Merry Christmas.

  56. Melinda Says:

    I’m so sorry for your loss.

  57. Leslie Says:

    Glad to hear you are better. This is such a hard time of year for so many people. Take care

  58. Bobbie Says:

    “Great Is Thy Faithfullness” I think of the verse
    Great is Thy faithfulness!
    Great is Thy faithfulness!
    Morning by morning new mercies I see.
    All I have needed Thy hand hath provided;
    Great is Thy faithfulness, Lord, unto me!

    May God provide the comfort and strength that you need each day.

  59. Shannon Mark Says:

    i am so sorry for your loss, i can’t even imagine :(

  60. sharon Says:

    {{{HUGS}}} my friend……you owe no apology to us. I am sooooooooo very sorry for your loss.

  61. Dawn Says:

    (((((hugs))))))) It’s a wise and humble woman can share what’s she’s going through in her own timing… ;) Big admirable hugs… dawn

  62. Teri Says:

    Sorry to hear you are feeling so down, I can tell you from experience it does get alittle easier. Now the hole in your heart never goes away, my first son died when he was 26 days old…….he would be 28 in April 2010! So I think holidays is when we miss them more or seeing someone elses sweet baby. God did bless me with 2 more sons and he is faith full to see us through. Remember Jeremiah 29:11 that he has plans for you! Blessings & glad to have you back…………

  63. Debra Says:

    I have not lost a child, but my heart goes out to you. Thank you for the wonderful advice and may God be with you every minute. I respect that you took the time you needed. That is a good example for all of us.

  64. Becky from Indiana Says:

    Love and Prayers to you and your family.

    Our family too had an experience like yours. I had experienced some health issues and 6 weeks away from delivery when, Adam, our baby boy came as a stillborn, February 14, 1985. Our whole family was hurting. We had two school-age children at the time, so the years following on the day of his birth we would plan to do something together as a family, in rememberance of his birth.

    Each year, we would plan ahead to do something special (it wasn’t always the same thing) but when we did this, it gave me the motivation to do something to remember him. I didn’t want others to forget him. God does have a purpose for Adam’s life too, even if He took him “Home” before birth.

    The good Lord gave us two more children following our dear stillborn son (none of those children could ever replace our baby Adam and we didn’t want them to), but grief takes time and it will for you too. There are some people who know what you are going through, but our blessed Lord Jesus knows exactly “everything” that is happening to us inside that others cannot see. Ps. 104:14

    May you find comfort in our blessed Lord and Saviour!
    Mother of 6 living children, 4 here on earth and 2 in Heaven
    (One was a miscarriage early in the pregnancy)

  65. Lissa Says:

    I am so sorry to hear. Glad youare feeling better and back with a little of the holiday spirit.

  66. Jennifer Says:

    So sorry to hear of your loss. Our loved ones who have passed on are missed the most at this time of year and especially a little one that didn’t have a chance at life. Consider him your little guardian angel and know that he is happy with our Heavenly Father. We all have someone near and dear to us that is fighting some kind of battle, so lets keep all those in our prayers too. Hope everyone recovers quickly to enjoy the holiday season and thanks for your efforts to provide us with some yummy new recipes !!

  67. Terri Says:

    Thanks for sharing your struggles. So many times people like us, who have lost babies seem to go on like it only really mattered for a little while. I often feel like that even after 12 years the loss is ingrained so much on my heart that I don’t have to be actively thinking my baby girls to become depressed. I try to honor and celebrate what their lives mean. God has used our tragedies to bring glory to Himself, by providing everything we need, especially during the darkest days. My first daughter died in January, I’m able to enjoy the holidays, but they are always bittersweet, I know my darker days are just around the corner. Add in a good dose of cloudy, gloomy winter days and I’m right there. I’ve learned to be thankful for my son, who just turned 10 and enjoy all the blessing we still have and to look forward to heaven even more! There are two pieces of my heart already there waiting for me right beside my Lord and Savior! I’ll be keeping your family in my prayers. Terri

  68. TracyQ Says:

    I’m so sorry you’ve had some difficulties lately. I have been going through a bit of the same since my dad’s death in July, so I understand how hard it can be. I’m so glad you’re beginning to feel better. What you do for others is such a beautiful and selfless thing. We use your website constantly, and it blesses us immensely. Thank you! Please know you’ll be in my thoughts and prayers as you continue to heal. God bless you!

  69. Kelly @ Wisdom Begun Says:

    I truly am so sorry for the loss of your baby. That is so sad and heartbreaking. My mommy’s heart cannot even fathom it. Big hugs.

  70. Denise Says:

    I’m so sorry to hear of your sadness. I can’t say I know how you feel or even begin to understand your pain as I’ve never lost a child. I can however imagine how painful it would be. You deserve so much credit for all that you do. Hope cheery days come your way. Denise

  71. Lynnette Says:

    Much love. So sorry for your loss. That’s a hurt that never goes away, and needs no apologies. Hang in there, and thank you for all you do. (((HUGS)))…Lynnette

  72. Bernice Says:

    Glad you are feeling better. I know how you feel, this time of year its rough. I, for one, am looking forward to 2009, cause this has been a year from……… (I’ll leave that there)

    New Year and New beginnings, may you and yours be blessed. Thanks for all your hardwork on such a great site.

  73. Diane Says:

    I’m so very sorry for your loss. Unless one has lost a child, you can’t understand the depth of anguish and depression that settles in. It’s been 19 years for me. And still fresh in my heart. Love and peace to you all.

  74. Barbara in TN Says:

    Dear, I totally understand your bleak days. My father-in-law died when my husband was age 3, on Dec. 4. My MIL is depressed from Thanksgiving through Christmas, even though she has remarried. He was the love of her life.

    I’m glad you have made it through one more year….and please know that we all love you, your blog, and your website.

    Barbara in TN

  75. Deb Says:

    *hugs* and welcome back :) Happy holidays from our family to yours…we too have had losses and painful experiences..no apologies required!

  76. Elisabeth, America's Sweetie! Says:

    Hello, Susanne,

    Please allow me to express sorrow for your loss. Many years ago I lost my first child, stillborn, in the same manner. God blessed me with two more opportunities to have children and I have a son, 24 and a daughter, 22. Both fill my life with joy – when I see them, they are busy being responsible contributing members of society. At least that’s what I tell myself. Anyway, they’re ok.

    Back then, when I started to feel sad about my loss, sometimes other people didn’t understand. If was common to hear statements from others, like….”well, you have two other beautiful babies.” And, I know, Susanne, that you know, that’s not the point. In the words you’ve shared with us, I feel your loss and your sadness. I wish you comfort also as you read my message.

    Two years ago on Christmas Day my husband passed away suddenly and unexpectedly. First of all, Bob and I had a wonderful life together so I have beautiful and loving memories. I’m very grateful for this. Part of my role on the internet is to provide counseling to people who are experiencing challenges in their relationships. I’m blessed to have the loving memories that I do of my life with the people I love, especially with Bob. What I learned in my career experience is that not everyone has the same experiences, so I’m very grateful.

    Last year, the first Christmas without him, was a disaster. This year has been much easier although there are some mornings I really don’t want to be out with the world; and some nights when the most fun filled holiday event is too overwhelming.

    Monday morning was the start of final exams for me. I was so prepared and ready to go! Unexpectedly, we had an abundance of snow that day. When I went out to my car I found the tires on my car embedded in ice and snow and in my “girly” effort to try to dislodge them I ran down the battery; the car is electronic so once the battery is out I can’t access anything. In my confusion I couldn’t make anything work! It was disastrous. I cried so hard feeling that if Bob were there this would never have occurred. Of course, this isn’t true but it’s hard not to engage in that type of thinking.

    Blessedly, I called the university, told them what happened and they had my exams rescheduled. There is so much available to me in which I can be involved. Particularly with very nice honest-to-goodness gentleman who express interest. I know it’s not the same as your grief for your baby. I just want you to know it’s hard for me to want to be festive when I still feel this way. Part of me wants to miss him; part of me wants to go out on a date and have fun with the next gentleman on my dance card; and part of me just wants to hide under the blankets and wish the whole world would go away. I really don’t want to feel that way, though. So, there are some things, just like you, that I decided to do and then, do as much of what I planned – some of it will get done, some of it won’t. And, next year, or the next time, I’ll do a little more and it will be easier.

    I’m so glad you shared the Christmas carols and also gave me an opportunity to share about myself. I just wanted you to know that America’s Sweetie has been around long before that term was made a political mockery. My late husband, Bob, was a paraplegic for 34 years since the age of 17. We met later in life after I’d worked for many years developing adaptive therapy programs for persons with disabilities. He inspired me in many ways to provide these services and counseling for couples and for men and women experiencing the same challenges.

    I feel very grateful to be able to take this path – although when the holiday season arrives, I’m the one who is challenged. It feels very much like you are describing and experiencing now in the loss of your child. My heart goes out to you.

    I’ll remember you in my prayers and ask that your heart be comforted.



  77. trish Says:

    I’m sorry to hear about your loss. We will be praying for you and yours at the holidays. We had a severly handicaped son who passed away New Years morning 9 years ago. So I can comepletely understand what you are feeling. Thanksgiving ,Christmas and of course New Years are not the same. But God’s kindness mercy and above all His love for us gets us through .
    Blessings, trish

  78. Nadine Says:

    Hi Susanne,

    Just wanted you to know you where missed and I wondered why you haven’t written.
    I too had a still born son, 13 years ago.
    It is hard and I imagine what he would’ve been like to day.
    I believe he is one of the lucky ones. He was chosen not to have to deal with the world it is today and got to go straight to our Creator.
    I just wanted to let you know this.

  79. Darlene Says:

    For 26 years, I have lit a candle on the morning of August 5 in memory of my son who was born prematurely and passed away 5 days later. My life is now blessed with several grandchildren and my 2 wonderful grown children but we always “remember” Just know we will all be reunited one day in the presence of the Lord. My prayers are with you. God bless.

  80. Roxanne Says:

    I’m sorry for your loss, and that you’ve also been under the weather. Prayers that you will find peace and comfort, and good health in the new year and beyond.

    I enjoy your blog, all that you share, all that you do to help others, and all those who respond as their responses are also enjoyable to read. I enjoy the sharing of sadness, as well as the sharing of joys and laughter.

    Thank you for all that you do.

    May you and yours be blessed this Christmas, and well into the New Year.

  81. Diane Says:

    God Bless you and what you do. I missed your helpful tips. And thankyou for sharing, I know some of what you are going thru, I try to always remember who is in control (GOD) and it helps.

    Have a blessed Christmas,

  82. Anne from Maine Says:

    I’m so sorry to hear of your loss. I can’t even begin to know what you’re feeling.
    I wish you and your family a Very Merry Christmas!

  83. Gladys Kovitch Says:

    I have never lost a child–but I am prone to depression around the holidays due to having a young adopted son, 22 who has a chemical embalance and ADHD, and I also work with Nami ,an organization that supports families of mental ill persons. It is so difficult around the holidays as this is the time most mentally ill people get very down and depressed. I understand something of the way you feel, you do such wonderful work to help keep us tuned in to homemaking that makes it a
    pleasant job and the rewards that come from it–I enjoy it immensly and try most of the recipes, of which all that I have made turns out delicious. I am happy you are feeling better and getting back in the swing of the holiday season–Take it easy–Wishing you and yours a blessed Christmas,
    an even better New Year and May the Lord’s peace be with you –prayers, Gladys

  84. Brenda Paulsen Says:

    Susanne, my name is Brenda Paulsen , I’m so sorry to hear about your lose ,but there was a reason for your lose that only God knows ,God will never put so much on a person that they can’t handle ,may God always keep you in his healing arms and hands when you need a special hug …you are a special lady and may God always bless you and your family / Merry Christmas and a very Happy New Year …your new friend in Christ ….Brenda Paulsen

  85. Jackie Says:

    It’s odd, but I was just sitting at my desk writting a birthday card for my deceased brother and reading my email at the same time. My brother, John, died in a car accident 2 years ago (in August) at the age of 18. His birthday is December 20. I’ll send the card to my mother, it helps her to know that we still remember John. My mom has started a blog to help people who are grieving: http://www.rememberingourchildren.blogspot.com. God bless you. – Jackie

  86. Beverly Says:

    I am so sorry for your loss. But by reading your posts, and the replies, I see I am not alone. I lost loved ones, too, in December. It was my sister and her whole family due to a house fire. Although it was 30 years ago, it seems like yesterday. The Holiday season has been so hard on me since.

  87. Denette Says:

    My prayers are with you. It’s been 37 yrs. and Aug. 18 still hurts every time. I was blessed with a daughter before and a son after but there is always one that will not be forgotten, a beautiful black-haired darling named Katherine Elizabeth and I love her still. God’s plan is way beyond our comprehension. I thank Him for bringing you into my life. Thanks for all you do and Merry Christmas.

  88. Rose Says:

    My prayers and thoughts are with you and yours throughout this season. Please take care.

  89. Sara Says:

    I was pregnant and on complete bedrest in the hospital with twins Christmas thirteen years ago (boy/girl) and the morning after Christmas our baby girl passed away. I carried them both until the day after Valentines Day. What a blessing to be pregnant on Christmas Day though after over a decade of infertility. My diary that day was full of hope and thankfulness. Boy, do I wish she was here to bake, shop, decorate with. Yes, it really does get easier. God has filled my (our) life with other precious girls whom I love and I thank Him for that. I pray He will do the same for you. We have 8″ of snow here today and as I drove past the cemetery on my way to work I thought about her. It’s a club I wish I didn’t belong to. But we are so thankful for our healthy 12 year old son.

  90. Tanya Says:

    Hi there
    sorry to hear about the little one (even though it’s been 3 yrs). A mother never forgets.
    Don’t apologize for slipping, take all the time you need.

  91. Laura in AZ Says:

    ((((HUGS))) I am so sorry for your loss, I can’t imagine how hard that must be.

    God Bless.

  92. Jeane Howell Says:

    I am so very sorry for your loss. Your faith will bring you thru this very difficult time. Wish
    I could be there to give you a hug. Consider yourself hugged thru the internet. I will
    remember you and your family in my prayers.


  93. Delphine Says:

    {{{{{Hugs, hugs}}}}}}I am very sorry of your lost. I will remember you in my prayers. It is very hard this time of the year. Remember the Lord knows how much each of are able to handle and He’ll lead you through.

  94. karen Says:

    I am so sorry about your loss. I lost my son at age 41 2 years ago and the holidays are the most difficult. Only the peace of God has helped me through such an ordeal. I pray your Christmas will be blessed.

  95. Kim in AZ Says:

    I was so glad to receive your email today and to hear that things in your life are getting better with each passing day. My month is September – I light a candle whenever I start feeling blue and will continue to do so for the rest of my life. I have two beautiful step-daughter and one grandbaby … they have always helped to fill the void. You are in my thoughts and prayers …

  96. Lisa Says:

    I don’t know what to say that hasn’t been said. I’m very sorry for your loss.
    ((((HUGS)))) to each and every one of you who have posted here and told us all about loved ones you have lost. Mine seems menial amongst all of you, but I just wanted a remembrance posted here, too, to my loving father, who passed away in 1985. I was only 19 and he was an awesome man. Holidays are always hardest when you can’t share them with the ones you love.

  97. Judith Says:

    I lost my 55 year old Dad August 5 this year to a swift battle with cancer…such a horrible time to lose a loved one…I understand!

  98. Angie In KY Says:


    I don’t know the pain you are going through exactly. We did miscarry a baby. I said even after that I would rather not have carried our baby to full term and had something happen like that. I cannot imagine your pain. I am so sorry for your loss. Lifting you up in prayer.

    I just wanted to say that your site is such a wonderful blessing to so many people. You are a blessing to all of us.


  99. Sue W Says:

    You must take as much time as you need, whenever you need it. There is no timetable for grief, and it can and will hit you at any time. Please know that there are many of us out there that are feeling for you and will send you love and support whenever you need it. You are not alone, and please reach out to us all on your website whenever you are having a bad day.

  100. SheShe Says:

    Your work here heals us as it helps to heal you. Depression is not punishment, is it a physiological response to overwhelming pain. We thank you for giving so much of yourself to teach so many of us your many skills . God is using you to mentor us, young and old. May He continue to cuddle your heart close to His every day, forever as you cling to Him. Welcome back. SheShe <

  101. Barbara Says:

    I really do understand about losing someone around this time of year or anytime, especially a baby. I happened to me a long time ago and it does take a long time, if ever, for your heart to stop aching so much. You are a very courageous woman to go on and take care of your family despite your depression. I always think that out of something bad always comes something good..Your baby was too perfect for this world, and perhaps that’s why God took him back. I know words will not really help a whole lot but the love and prayers will. Know that there are so many out here that love you and do understand what you’re going through…and I mean “through”. That means coming out the other side eventually….I send you a warm hug and a prayer for you and your family.

  102. Margo Says:

    I’m so sorry to hear about your loss–I, too, have survived the loss of a child–it was 28 years ago–he was 3 years old and died of a sudden illness. Holidays are hard, always and forever, when you’ve lost a child. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

  103. Nancy Wall Says:

    Welcome back. You are now on my prayer list. I cannot imagine your pain. Please take care of yourself. That’s a selfish request: you mean so much to me. You are helping me survive. I don’t have any cookie recipes except the ones I got from you but I’m looking forward to seeing those that are submitted. Merry Christmas and the happiest of New Years.

  104. Sharon Says:

    I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my youngest son on November 1st this year. He was 35 years old but had never been ill, had all the appearance of great health, and he had a massive heart attack. I don’t know how folks get through the loss of a child without leaning on the Lord…my prayers are with you, and I join in your grief. God bless you and your family…you are such a blessing to so many!

  105. Jennifer B. Says:

    I have also lost a child – mine was a miscarriage 13 years ago. At this time of year, I always remember that first Christmas after we lost the baby. I remember how hard it was to share my saddness with others who had no idea how I felt. It was still an open wound and I was still deep in grief. The Lord has seen fit to fill my life with four wonderful children, but I still can’t help wonder what that child would have been like. It has gotten easier for me…but it did take quite awhile. I share your grief and will remember you and your family at this time. I can look back and see some good that came out of my loss. I have been is a position to minister to others who have had a similar loss. What Satan hoped would destroy me, God used for good! I do look forward to that meeting in heaven when my family will be complete! May God bless you!

  106. Carol Says:

    I am sorry to learn of your loss.
    We, your readers are blessed to have you in our lives and I hope we will help you feel blessed also.

  107. Anna Says:

    I am sorry you have to deal with that hurt each yaer, I can’t say I know how it is but I will pray this will get easier for you as time goes by. You and you family is in my prayers. Hugs to all of you.

  108. MARLYCE Says:


  109. Ann Says:

    So sorry to hear of your loss, I lost a baby at 6 months pregnant, that was 16 yrs ago, and it still hurts, and two years ago, had the loss of my cousins little girl on thanksgiving eve 2 years ago, she was 18 months old and only a month younger than my daughter and that pain is still fresh and thanksgiving is really a sad holiday for me and her family the pain lessens but never goes away and I have my little girl and always say that Lyla (the baby that passed) is Amelia’s guardian angel and Amelia talks to her everyday she doesnt really understand but she knows that lyla is her baby angel. Best wishes to you

  110. Carolyn Says:

    What a lovely outpouring of love to you. I am a newbie to your site and I love it ! I feel like a visit from a wise and warm friend each time I log in. Thank you ! God bless you and your family now and all through the holidays..let yourself grieve and keep in mind the wonderful reunion you will have when the time comes..and hope that gives you some peace. Happy Christmas

  111. Julie Says:

    I would just like to say how sorry I am for your loss. I can only think that God needed a “littlest angel” to do some amazing work! God Bless You and your family…and I hope you will have a wonderful next year!!!

  112. Sandra Miller Says:

    Praying for you.Fifteen years ago in January, we were given the first of four babies over eight years.We never dreamed the parents would come back for them, but twenty months ago, they walked in and took them. Law said we could do nothing.We do see them about twice a month and leave them in Gods hands,but the grief is there.Keep in your Bible and pray for Gods strength to make it.I still pray for a miracle to return them to us.He is able.I also lost a twin baby years ago.

  113. Doug Says:

    I want you to know how much you are loved. We struggled with a late term miscarriage that nearly destroyed our marriage. But God never allows struggle without growth and look at what you have accomplished in adversity. Today I had another surgery to repair the meniscus in my left knee. I hope God blesses me with half the wisdom you have been blessed with. Your website allows us the financial freedom to have Christmas and pay for our children’s autism therapies (something the military doesn’t pay for completely). Your guidance has blessed us tremendously and I wanted you to know how much what you do means to me and my family as I’m sure it does to others.
    May the Lord Almighty bless you and yours this Holy season and continue to use you to bless others. We Love You!!!
    The Blairs

  114. sue Says:

    So glad you are back. You are such an inspiration to me and others!

  115. Linda Says:

    Very sorry for your loss Susanne, having miscarried a child myself I do sympathize with you. ((Hugs)) to you and all your readers who’ve shared this painful loss in life. Just remember you have a Precious Angel watching over you now. So glad to see your back. God Bless you and your family and may he keep you all safe.

    Linda & Family

  116. Stella Says:

    Please know I am sending my thoughts and prayers to you. Lost my son suddenly nearly
    5 years ago and the heartache lessens but never goes away. I try to be strong in his memory
    and trust you will find the faith to do the same.

  117. Hillbilly Housewife Says:

    I am sitting here with tears in my eyes, but they aren’t tears of grief, they are tears of gratitude for the outpouring of support both on this blog and via email. You have no idea how much it helps to read all your words of encouragement.

    Mary and Elizabeth, I’m so sorry to hear about your mother.

    Rane, my heart goes out to you. I can only imagine how hard it must have been to lose your twins. Thank you for your support and sharing your own way of dealing with the pain. I think your quilts are a wonderful idea.

    Claudine, sending some {{hugs}} your way as well. We’ll get through this and still enjoy a wonderful holiday season.

    Brenda and Sandi you’ll be in my thoughts in October. Thank you for sharing.

    Stephanie, I’ve been there. It took me a good year to get to a point where I wasn’t constantly thinking about him and where I was able to take a breath without feeling like my heart was breaking. Yes, the pain and guilt will get better. I’m sure you have heard it a lot of times, but I also know it’s one of the hardest things to accept…It is not your fault. Sending lots of hugs your way and hang in there. The pain doesn’t go away but it will get a little easier as time goes by.

    Cindy, thank you for telling your story. In a way I am glad I will still be thinking about and missing my son. I could not stand the thought of just forgetting about him. I hope you will still have some moments that will allow you to reconnect with your kids … even if it’s just over the phone.

    Dolly, I share your feeling of wishing our babies had just stayed inside of us. And your are right, words are not enough but they do help a lot.

    Meg, it is amazing what we can live through and you are right, we are a club of stong women. Thank you also for sharing your doctor’s words. Compared to a few years ago, I have come a long way to learn to live with this loss. I’m sure it will continue to become more bearable as time goes by.

    Melinda, thank you for sharing. It does help to know that we are not the only ones. I’m so sorry for your loss as well and am sending you a big hug in return.

    Sandy, thank you for your kind words. It helps to know that I will never forget about my son, but also to know that the pain will lessen even more over the years to come.

    Maryann, thank you for your kind words and the reminder that I will see my precious little son again one day.

    Nicole, what a wonderful idea and what a precious gift for your friend.

    Misty, I love the idea of lighting a candle. I will go do that in just a few minutes here and then make it a tradition on the day he was born from here on out.

    Cindy, I’ll be thinking about you in a few days adn my thoughts and prayers are with you as well.

    Erica, I’m so sorry for your loss. I have had two miscarriages as well and they hurt. Thank you also for the affirmation that “going into hiding” for a bit is ok.

    Teri, thank you for your kind words. I’m sure it must be even harder to let go of a child after being with him and holding him for such a long time.

    Becky, I am so sorry to hear about Adam. I love the idea of doing something special to remember him by. My daughter was old enough to remember the loss and still speaks about her baby brother on occasion. It would be a good experience for her as well.

    Terri, thanks so much for sharing. It does feel good to know we are not the only ones.

    TracyQ, I’m so sorry to hear about your dad.

    Bernice, so sorry to hear you had a rough year. And you are right, we should look forward to a wonderful 2009

    Diane, thank you for sharing your story. I am so very sorry for your loss as well.

    Elizabeth, I can not imagine how hard it must be to go on after losing your husband. Mine is my best friend and soul mate as well and I can not imagine life without him. It is for him and my daughter that I fight hard to dig myself back out of depression. My heart goes out to you as well.

    trish, I’m so sorry to hear about your son. I’m sure his loss weights hard on you this time of the year. You will be in my prayers as well.

    Nadine, what a wonderful way to think about our sons. Thank you!

    Thank you Darlene. I love the idea of lighting a candle in memory.

    Jackie, what a wonderful idea and what a great way to show your mom that he is not forgotten.

    Beverly, I am amazed as well how many of us have a hard time this time of the year. Just knowing we are not alone helps.

    Denette, thank you so much for sharing and a Merry Christmas to you as well.

    Sarah, I’m so sorry to hear about your baby girl. I also wish I didn’t belong to this club.

    karen, I’m so sorry about your loss as well.

    Kim, I’ll be thinking about you in September.

    Lisa, I’m very sorry about your dad. It must have been hard to lose him so young.

    Judith, I’m so sorry about your Dad.

    Angie, I’m sorry about your miscarriage. We went through several of those as well and they hurt.

    Thank you Barbara. You are right, love and prayers help.

    Margo, I’m so sorry about your son. I can only imagine how much harder it must be to lose a child after seeing him grow up for 3 years.

    Sharon, I’m so sorry for your loss. Parents should not survive their children.

    Jennifer, yes it is hard when noone around you seems to understand. Here we do and I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

    Ann. I’m so sorry about your loss. My daughter talks about her baby brother all the time as well.

    Sandra, I can’t even imagine how hard it must be to “give your children back” after so many years. I pray they will find their way back to you.

    Doug, I’m so sorry to hear about your loss. I also wish you a speedy recovery from yoru surgery.

    Thank you Stella. I am very sorry for your loss as well.

  118. The Banana Fairy Says:

    My Great-Grandmother said to me following my miscarriage: “God, in his infinite wisdom, never challenges us with too great a challenge as he knows us better than we will ever know ourselves.”

    God Bless You and Keep You

  119. Sherrine Says:


    I’m a newbie here, but I feel for your loss. God bless and sustain you and your family.


  120. Sonja Says:

    Susanne..I am so sorry to hear of your loss of your precious child. The only comfort I can offer you is the assurance that your child is in the loving care of Jesus, as I firmly believe all innocent children are. I will remember you in prayer. I live your site, bye the way. God bless…Sonja Keller

  121. Sonja Says:

    oops, I meant to say love not live(lol)

  122. Teeg Says:


  123. mimi Says:

    My condolences for your loss. I lost a baby back in 1994 and the depression can still creep in, so you have my deepest sympathy.

    Thank you so much for your website. It has been a blessing to our family.


  124. Melinda Says:

    Keeping you in my prayers!

    Welcome back! I was really missing you!!!

  125. Karol Says:

    I hope it has gotten better for you. Even though no one knows anothers pain, I went through three miscarriages before giving birth to my miracle baby who is 14 years old. I want to thank you for all your wonderful recipies…your toffee coffee became my “teacher gifts” this year. I found beautiful jars with cork lids at Old Time Pottery for $1.00 each and it made a great gift! Your website is full of wonderful ideas and I have shared it with many. I hope you realize how many people you reach and how thankful we all are that you devote time to your website. Merry Christmas.

  126. Cynthia Says:

    Susanne, God bless and love you! Just with the holidays, most sites slow down a bit this time of year, and with a sick household — and remembering your baby — — — thank you for all you do for us! And I believe (though you may not, that’s up to you) that your baby is with God watching over you and praying for you. In any case, God’s got the blueprints, and we just follow along.

    Stay warm! (We’ve got a foot of snow in Chicago today. Are y’all getting ice storms?)


  127. Stephanie Says:

    Welcome back. I was so moved by reading all of the posts in support of you. It truly shows that no matter what dark times we are handed, we are not alone. God bless you and all the other mothers out there who have lost children. My deapest heartfelt warmth is with you all.

  128. Jane Says:

    God bless you during this time. I understand depression and know that taking care of yourself, however you can-when you can, is of the utmost of importance. Your website has been a tremendous blessing to me, and I will keep you in prayer that this holiday month will pass with new joys and blessings to you and your family.

  129. Kami Says:


    I too have lost a daughter by stillbirth. She turned 5 years old this past April, and not a day goes by that she isn’t in my thoughts. I truly understand your pain and sadness. We have to keep going forward, and sometimes to stop along the way is necessary. Keeping you in my thoughts. May you have god’s blessings this holiday season.

  130. Lori Says:

    Your in my thoughts and prayers. my little guy was suspose to be stillborn, but i was blessed with him for 8 weeks when our Lord took him home. this was over 43 yrs ago. I know I will see him when its my turn to go home. God bless you my sweet friend. Lori

  131. Linda Says:

    My thoughts and prayers are with you, Suzanne. As you can see, you are admired and cared for by many. Thank you for your wonderful website. I don’t know what I’d do without it! Merry Christmas!


  132. Sherian Says:

    I lost my daughter in 1974 I know how that feels. I lost my husband of 37 years last Christmas evening. So this year especially hard. My prayers are with you. We just have to go on I guess,I just don’t want too. May GOD bless you Sheri

  133. sheri Says:

    I am new to your website, and really enjoy your website. My heart goes out to you, over the loss of your child. I know it is not the same, but I lost my dad around the holidays 7 years ago, and It has been very hard, especially around the holidays. Be kind to yourself, do something special for yourself. My thoughts are with you.


  134. Jana Says:

    So sorry to hear that. I lost a daughter the day before she turned a month old and her birthday is a really rough period for me, and she would have been 18 a couple of months ago.

  135. Carleen Says:

    Hugs and Blessings to you and yours.
    I too have been fighting that ugly depression stuff. My parents both passed away one year apart. My father in August 2006, mom in November 2007. We were a very close family and the holidays were always very special to us. God still brings our family together every holiday. My oldest brother is a minister in Oklahoma, but he keeps in touch by email. My other two brothers and I live close to each other so we get together and make a call to the older brother. Somehow we always find a way. This year has been no different. Just many new memories to go with those from years past. New additions and God’s many blessings abound. We are all struggling with our own demons about their passings, but God is blessing all of us in his own special way.
    My family and friends here on the internet are very special to me to help me get through all of those tough times and struggles.
    GOD’S LOVE AND BLESSINGS TO YOU AND YOUR FAMILY. Soon everything will be back to normal with GOD’S help.

    Carleen in Allegan, Midhigan

  136. Dena Says:

    Everything that I was going to say has already been said. Just wanted you to know that we will hold you and your family up in our prays.

  137. Cindi Says:

    My husband and I buried our five year old son 25 years ago. We have grown daughters now with two grandsons. God has been so very good to us. He is the source of great comfort and peace. I love your site and use it regurlarly. I am a house mom to six teen age girls who have been abused and neglected and abandoned. I use the recipes to make my dollars stretch further. God Bless You.

  138. Wanda Says:

    Susanne..So glad you are feeling better and back with us…
    take care of your self and take one day at a time…

  139. Valerie V Says:

    I praise and thank the Lord for your life and your baby’s life in the womb and the way you have allowed Him to use you to witness to others. May He be your comfort in the valleys. He is good.and He promises to never let us go.

  140. Shirley Ann Confer Says:

    So sorry to hear about your loss, and bout with depression. Talk to your doctor if it gets too bad, mourning is one thing but suffering is quite another. Many of us deal with depression, whether it’s due to grief or the season.

    I was just under eight years old when my mother bore my baby sister, who died 18 hours later. I still wonder what she would have been like, because other than her I’m an only child.

    I have also been told that my chances of carrying to term were slim to none, so I decided to be sterilized so that I wouldn’t have to go through the heartbreak of a miscarriage. It’s been my lot in life to spoil other people’s children, which I enjoy whenever I get a chance.

    I lost my Gram this past March, and every holiday since I’ve missed her presence at our family gatherings. I know it will get better, and I know that in heaven she met my baby sister.

    I’ll keep your family in my prayers.

  141. Donna Says:

    I am so sorry for your loss.

    Be kind and gentle with yourself as you celebrate the memory of the short time you had with your baby.

  142. Sarah Says:

    I understand your loss…. 38 years ago our baby boy died just 6.5 hours after birth and barely 6 years ago our oldest daughter passed away with CML cancer. It just seems like yesterday this happened to us. Stay strong and keep all memories alive that you can keep alive… and remember all the good times. We have and it does help some.

  143. Gwen Says:

    I’m so very sorry for your loss. I’m glad you’re back with us. This site truly helps me to stay on the path of frugality. Be well and may God bless you and yours.

  144. brenda Says:

    there are no words of wisdom to help you feel better. my 15 year old son died in 2001. its our 8th Christmas without him and it still hurts like crazy. Time does soften the pain, thats my wisdom, wish i had magic words to take away the pain! Glad you’re back.

  145. Delores Says:

    My deepest sympathy for your loss. Your website has truly been a blessing to me and my family. Thank you for all the time and energy you have invested in it.

  146. Joanna Vanderkooi Says:

    Our daughter attends Pensacola Christian College and just last week a young man, 18, who also attended there, passed away, and it made me feel so sorry for his family, and so thankful for me and my healthy children and family. I pray this Christmas for all of you who have experienced loss this year and in the past. May we always be thankful for God’s blessings, grace, and mercy, kindness and love, and be concerned for those in need, both physical, emotional, and spiritual. Bless your heart for enduring, and be encouraged that Jesus came so that we might have life, both here, and There!

  147. Christine from WA Says:

    Ever so sorry to hear about the loss of your son. It’s never easy to loose a child. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. Am, so very glad you are all feeling better. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!!!

  148. msgracie Says:

    I was saddened to hear of your loss. Please know how very sorry I am.
    May God’s love make your grief bearable. And that He is always with
    you at a time like this. msgracie

  149. michele Says:

    Sorry to hear about your son, I have many family and friends who have had to endure the same experience. It amazes me how God can take a very hurtful time in our lives and use it to minister to others. Have you ever seen the artwork of Alice Craig, she is an artist who has lost some of her babies during pregnancy, and has created some pictures that have really brought comfort to some of the women in my family. you can google her on the internet. I will keep you and your family in our prayers.
    Glad to hear you all are not going to be sick for Christmas. My sister-in-law, who reccomended your site, mother to 11…They started a flu bug in their house yesterday. She is supposed to be baking for Christmas eve and we all will bring the rest. Right now I am not so sure that we will be getting together at all. Say a prayer too!
    Merry Christmas,
    Michele Vetter

  150. Lisa Says:

    I’m very sorry for your loss. You’ll be in my thoughts and prayers.


  151. Tina Says:

    Susanne, My heart grieves with you the loss of your precious son. I just lost 2 this year, Isaac at 18 weeks & Hannah at 19 within 6 months of each other. I know all too well the pain of anniversary dates. Know that I’m praying for Gods faithful arms holding you & comforting you.

  152. Ruth Allinger Says:

    I am so sorry. I know that pain. If it interests you, email me (prallinger@yahoo.com) with your mailing address and I’ll send you (free) something I wrote about dealing with the losses our family went through. I would send it electronically so that anyone who wanted to could look at it, but I’m not savvy enough to know how to get it on the computer.

  153. Sheryl Says:

    Susanne, I’m sorry to hear of your loss and hope that the good Lord will be able to allow you more comfort in the coming years. I’m glad to hear about the rest of the household coming around from their nasty colds, this household didn’t miss out on the nasty cold season either, but we are on the mend. (Which is why I haven’t checked my emails in a while.) I’m glad your back as I enjoy your frugal ideas and recipes. Hope that you and your family have a happy and healthy holiday season.

  154. Lynn P Says:

    My heart goes out to you, and your family upon hearing your news.. We are so sorry for your loss and pain. Just take it one day at a time.. Take care, and God Bless..

  155. momstheword Says:

    I am new here so I didn’t know that you were gone. I am so very sorry to hear about your loss. Grief is a very strange thing. The pain can seem to disappear and then when you least expect it you can find yourself in tears again. We have never lost a child like you have, but we have lost one in other ways (thru a m/c and later thru a foster child we were going to adopt but then was returned…I cried and grieved him for months). The hard thing to think about is what-might-have-been. We can get stuck on that sometimes.

    Holidays are hard anyway. I still miss my dad and he has been with the Lord a year now. You have a lot of love going on here, you are so blessed to have such blog friends. I pray that these next few weeks will be a time of healing for you.

  156. Wilma Says:

    I am just catching up on my emails and I am extremely sorry to hear of your loss. My husband died on Christmas Eve seven years ago and it is still hard for me. I cannot imagine the pain it caused you. I have only been a subscriber a short time; but I know you are a wonderful person and I am sorry you had to go through such an experience.
    May the Lord grant you peace and comfort.

  157. inava Says:

    So sorry to hear about your loss. My thoughts and prayers for you and your little angel in heaven.

  158. Theresa Says:

    Dear Friend in Heart,
    I am sharing your frustration as I too have lost a full-term stillborn in the past.
    Yes, life does go on, but it seems that you live in another dimension from that point on. Be true to yourself and let yourself feel the loss, but know that you have the strength to use this experience as a ministry to others as well. God bless you for sharing.

  159. cynda Says:

    sorry to hear you were not feeling well, glad your back, you have the nicest and helpful website. happy 2009 to you!!!!!!!

  160. Jan Schultz Says:

    I am so sorry about your loss. Even tho it has been 3 years you never forget. I lost a twin sister around Christmas in 1941 and olto I was only 18 months old my mom said i felt the loss just by the way I was acting. and I also lost a son in 1984 and he was older but it is something you don’t get over , even tho people say,to “get over it” That child is still a part of your body and it is like losing a part of your body.
    Bless you my dear.

  161. Jan Schultz Says:

    I am so sorry about your loss. Even tho it has been 3 years you never forget. I lost a twin sister around Christmas in 1941 and oltho I was only 18 months old my mom said i felt the loss just by the way I was acting. and I also lost a son in 1984 and he was older but it is something you don’t get over , even tho people say,to “get over it” That child is still a part of your body and it is like losing a part of your body.
    Bless you my dear.

  162. karen said Says:

    I have lost two adult children and the holidays are difficult. Do not be hard on yourself. I hope you have a Compassionate friends group in your area. This is for parents who have lost children. It has helped many people. kas

  163. michelle Says:

    I was sorry to read of your loss. I just found your website in November and love it. Seven years ago we lost a baby too. I don’t think that the pain goes away, or the fear when you get pregnant again that you will have another loss. I have a wonderful christian friend who lost a baby 40 years ago who was able to keep going for her five other children, her husband, and their farm by remembering this precious child she had carried knew her, and her husband, and their other children…and would be waiting at the gates of heaven. I think we will cry until we see them at the gate and then it will turn to a joyous reunion. Well my friend drew a better picture than I do, but maybe it will help a bit. I love you and God bless you.

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